Love in the face of prejudice

In a Chad where women’s sport is frowned upon, Justine, a taekwondo fan, is defying the norm by forging a fulfilling life and love with Hassane, her husband, who sees her as a force for love, not a threat.

On that Thursday, Labarta went to the sports field, as she did every afternoon, determined to prepare for the competition ahead. But little did she know that day that her passion for athletics would bring her face to face with a brutal and unjustified rejection. When she went into the small local shop to buy water, she had not imagined that her simple sports shirt would trigger such discomfort.

The manager, a middle-aged man, stared at her for a moment, then, in a firm tone of voice, insulted her:‘Bloody hell, azaba’, what are you looking for here? This is not the ‘’Mokolo‘’ market, ‘’ amourouk ‘’ in Arabic, which means ‘’ loveouk ‘’ in imperative, refused to sell her anything. ‘ It’s not appropriate,’ he said, glancing disapprovingly at her sports outfit. ‘ A woman in sportswear in a public place? That doesn’t respect the principles of decency and morality’. The customers around her, visibly uncomfortable, looked away, as if some transgression had been committed.

Labarta, stunned for a moment, felt her heart clench. She was used to judgment, but never before had it manifested itself so openly and humiliatingly.

For a section of Chadians, sport, particularly that practised by women, is widely frowned upon and seen as contrary to traditional values. Practising sports such as martial arts is a form of domination and independence for women, who, in their view, should be inferior to men. Labarta represented a challenge to a society that refused to see women as anything other than mothers and wives, a predefined role.

In this disturbing insight into the challenges faced by women in certain traditional societies, such as that of Chad, a position where she must always be inferior to her man. The woman thus finds herself confronted with social pressure and the harsh judgement of her environment, highlighting the tensions between individual aspirations and collective expectations in a traditional society. Women are often judged on the basis of their ability to be good wives and mothers.

This case illustrates the rejection that so many in the community have of women taking part in sport. In an environment steeped in deep-rooted traditions and conservative family values, the love story of a female practitioner of the martial art of taekwondo emerges. So can a woman’s physical strength be an obstacle to marriage?

Our story tells of a taekwondo practitioner who, despite opposition and criticism, goes her own way and starts a family. Justine is known in the neighbourhood for her passion for martial arts, because on the dojo field she used to get boys who opposed her in training fights into trouble. In every fight she came out on top, and no-one in the neighbourhood dared go near her. Her strength of character and commitment to taekwondo were echoed throughout the neighbourhood. It’s unacceptable for a woman to be as physically strong as a man. LAOUBARA, a former combatant, recalls an anecdote from the 1990s in Ndjamena: ‘In our church, a man reproached his wife and the woman replied: “You talk here, but we’ll see at home”. Her story sheds light on the challenges facing so-called‘physically strong’ women, or at least those who practice martial arts.

For Justine, being a woman in a world dominated by prejudice and social expectations is not an obstacle, but an added motivation. In our communities, a woman’s place is in the home. As far as I’m concerned, my parents expect me to stay at home all the time and learn to do housework. Justine adds: “My parents and family didn’t understand why I chose taekwondo. For them, taking up this sport meant neglecting household chores and questioning traditional gender roles. One day, an aunt advised me not to give up because martial arts are for men and ‘lost’ girls. No man would want to marry a woman who spent all her time with other men. For my aunt, ‘ Humility, gentleness, diligence in housework, hospitality, respect for parents and having the courage to wake up whenever I’m needed are my priorities, not sport ’. Destabilised by my aunt’s words, I was ready to give up, but I persisted, finding unexpected support in the man who was to become my husband.

For her, this martial art goes far beyond simple self-defence. It is a source of inspiration and personal fulfilment. Taekwondo demands regular practice and constant concentration, and this is reflected in my life: ‘ Everything I do outside taekwondo I take seriously, whether in my working life or in my studies. Something I didn’t do before ‘.

Despite prejudice and criticism, she embraced taekwondo, not to fight, but to grow as an individual. Personally, she says, taekwondo helps her mentally as well as physically, and gives her confidence. There are things I didn’t think I could do before,’ she says. ’ Progressing through the ranks and overcoming technical challenges gives me a sense of pride and strengthens my belief in my personal abilities. From the outside, people may say bad things about taekwondo, but on the field it’s a different matter, because fundamental values such as respect for others, humility and courtesy are taught. These principles have forged a character and balance in me. Practising this martial art helps me to manage stress: ‘ Taekwondo encourages me to keep calm and control my emotions, even in high-pressure situations ’. There are situations in life where tension can quickly degenerate into physical or emotional conflict. Justine recalls a personal incident that made her realise the profound impact that taekwondo has on her life. ‘ One day, a friend from the neighbourhood and I came very close to fighting. The tension was palpable and it only took a small gesture for the situation to explode. But, against all the odds, I managed to control myself. I didn’t give in to anger or to the impulse of the moment. Reflecting afterwards, I realised that it was thanks to the teaching I’d received at the dojo. Taekwondo didn’t just teach me defence techniques, it also taught me a philosophy of life, based on self-control and emotional management ‘.

No one who practises taekwondo provokes. She explains that everything she is taught in the dojo remains within the sporting framework; outside of it, she adopts a different attitude and plays the role of devoted housewife. Justine insists that love is paramount in her married life.

After 11 years of happy marriage, she stresses that their union is strengthened by mutual trust and respect. ‘ At home there’s a climate of security where everyone feels free to express themselves, and when I spend time with the others at training he respects what I do. He listens to me and takes my opinions into account.

Justine says that she doesn’t hit her husband, valuing a relationship based on love. At the same time, her daughter has also taken up taekwondo, incorporating the values of discipline and respect that her mother passes on. The family is united by this shared passion, and everyone finds in the practice a source of joy and fulfilment.

Taekwondo not only defines their way of fighting, but also their way of loving and living together.

Hassane, Justine ‘s husband, is a model of support. Contrary to those who fear the potential rebellion of a woman practising martial arts, he has always encouraged Justine to pursue her passion. He has been a pillar of strength for her, offering both moral and financial support. One of the most obvious demonstrations of this unconditional love is that he ‘accompanies his wife to the training centre and pays her deposits’. Even in moments of doubt and fatigue, Hassane never lets her down. One vivid memory he shares with her goes back to a day when Justine, exhausted and tired, was ready to give up. She didn’t want to go back, but her husband supported her, encouraging her to get back up and not lose hope.

Faced with criticism and judgement from outside, Hassane is always there to comfort Justine. I constantly remind her that the most important thing is my support and that she shouldn’t pay any attention to other people’s opinions ’, says Hassane. Thanks to this support, Justine admits that ‘ she doesn’t let negative opinions upset her ’.

In the heart of the neighbourhood, admiration and amazement mingle when it comes to Justine. Her neighbours and friends see her as a figure of resilience and commitment, a source of inspiration for the young girls in the neighbourhood.

A nickname that speaks volumes.

Alain, one of her close friends, affectionately calls Justine ‘déné dingam’, a term in Ngambaye meaning ‘woman boy’. It’s a nickname that, far from shocking, reflects the deep admiration he has for her determination and courage. ‘I call her that as a joke with her, but it’s also a nod to her exceptional commitment to the sport,’ he explains with a smile.

A role model for young girls

Alain goes on to say that he deeply admires what Justine achieves, not only in her martial arts practice, but also in her role as a role model for other girls in the neighbourhood. ‘I’d like other girls to follow in her footsteps,’ he confides. He recognises that in an environment where it is difficult to find common ground on issues that are out of the ordinary, Justine embodies a break with tradition and offers a new example for younger generations of women to follow.

However, not everyone shares the same opinion about the place of women in sport, especially when it comes to disciplines considered ‘virile’. Bertrand, another local resident, expresses his point of view in all honesty: ‘The choice of marriage belongs to the parents, for my part, it would be difficult for my parents to accept this kind of girl into my family.’ These words highlight the cultural challenges facing Justine and other women in her situation. In many societies, the practice of martial arts by a woman is often perceived as a transgression of gender norms, and the integration of these women into more traditional family and social structures can prove complicated.

Breaking down mental barriers

The challenges facing Justine and Hassane are not just personal, but also social and cultural. Gender stereotypes conveyed by culture help to shape erroneous perceptions of women. The idea that sportswomen are undisciplined or threatening persists, fuelling doubts and concerns in the community. However, Justine and Hassane ‘s story shows that these prejudices are simply mental barriers to be overcome, misperceptions to be deconstructed.

For them, practising this martial art should not be an obstacle to a relationship. They recognise that it’s not easy to follow the path that the heart dictates,’ recalls her husband, who recalls the reticence of his friends and family. Many had advised him not to get involved with her, pointing out that his partner’s physical strength could create imbalances in their relationship. According to these voices, ‘a woman should not be physically stronger than her husband’.

However, for him, love transcends physical considerations. Hassane says that his wife, although strong in the dojo, has never let this strength influence their daily lives or their love relationship. On the contrary, he sees this power as an asset that enriches their union, not as an obstacle. Hassane humorously reminds us that even in his absence, he can sleep soundly. Why?because my wife, with her knowledge and technique of taekwondo, inspires respect. He jokes that the children never have any problems, because everyone is aware that there is‘a capable woman at home’.

He calls for the prejudices that persist in communities to be deconstructed, stressing that respect is not measured by physical strength but by understanding and complicity. The couple continue to live together in harmony, proving that love can overcome traditional expectations and promote a more equitable vision of roles in relationships.

In an environment where traditions and family values often take precedence, Justine and Hassane ‘s journey is a reminder of the importance of following one’s heart in the quest for happiness. Their marriage has become a vibrant testament to the power of love and the determination to forge one’s own destiny. By challenging established social norms, they have paved the way for a new understanding of individual freedom and the power of love to transcend cultural and social boundaries.

Prejudice can sometimes hold an unfair image – it’s time to challenge these stereotypes and celebrate the diversity of women in the martial arts. Promoting a positive and respectful image of these sportswomen can contribute to a change in mentality that is beneficial to all.